Date: 2008-07-01 22:06 Subject: Project Africa Security: Public Location: home Mood: excited Music: Florida Revival -- http://www.god.tv/god?region=tb Tags: africa, hope, kenya, prayer

One long year of planning and anticipating is nearly over! I leave Lacombe Thursday morning at 8:00 AM for Africa!!!

Please pray. It seems like when you're on a mission trip, your eyes are more opened to see God at work. I simply want to receive all that he has to show and teach me, and to give all that he wants to use me in. I am sooo excited. Pray for safety, for health as we encounter new living conditions and food, for team unity. Pray that we can truly fulfill our mission of, out of our abundance, providing hope to those in distress. The Bible says hope does not disappoint us!

We will be working in orphanages and teaching Canadian-themed lessons at numerous schools. Our team will be in Kenya for 3 weeks. The last week of July my family will be in London visiting some of my dad's relatives. I am looking forward to that as well. Oh, pray that God will use us in that time also...to share his love with family and friends and those we meet! What an exciting opportunity to visit my grandma's homeland!

I am not sure I'll be able to connect to the internet over there, but our leader is planning on keeping a blog. The link is this: http://www.wolfcreekyfc.com
Click the "blog" button and hopefully our team will be up there soon!

Look forward to stories when I return in August!

Date: 2008-06-16 17:32 Subject: The Shack Security: Public Location: at home Mood: thoughtful Music: Cry in My Heart -- Starfield Tags: books, reading, the shack

Read The Shack.

Period.
 

Date: 2008-06-07 21:07 Subject: Hotel Rwanda Security: Public Location: home Mood: tired Music: listening to the rain Tags: apathy, hotel rwanda, judge roy moore

I saw Hotel Rwanda (about the genocide ending in 1994) for the first time last night. Wow...it breaks my heart. Especially because my dad was just in the Sudan for the month of April, and one of the towns he visited -- Agok, I believe -- is facing violence and the people have fled. But this is the thing: they made a statement in the movie that the West hears and sees news of what's happening, says, "Oh my gosh, that's horrible," and goes on eating their dinners. That is what breaks my heart. That apathy is what I long to see God break -- in me, in his church, in the West in general. Our upcoming trip to Kenya will begin that process, I'm sure.

But what's to be done? There is always prayer, but I believe we're called to something more physical. There are deep cycles of social order, government structure, and overall infrastructure that aren't easily reversed. Why do we always hear of things happening "over there," and nothing of that magnitude ever in the West? Is it coming, or is God sparing us? Or can it be called "sparing," since we face other 'demons' that we have to combat and overcome in a different way? So many questions. I'm realizing more and more that I am goal-oriented, not process. I want instant results. But things like this take time to change.

I need to remember that living in Canada is not bad, Call it luck, chance, happenstance, whatever, but I believe that God has a  purpose for those of us living in Canada and the States, and some things happening here break God's heart as much as the atrocity elsewhere. Yesterday I was reading out Beth Moore's book, and she made a good point: Don't mistake the good for the purpose. We are easily distracted by stuff that is urgent, but on our own our efforts are near worthless. God is the only one with the answers, so unless we are waiting for his guidance and wisdom, our intervention won't accomplish much.

I got this forwarded to me via email, so take it as you will. Apparently written by Alabama Judge Roy Moore, but thought-provoking no matter who the author is:

Date: 2008-05-28 21:22 Subject: Laminin Security: Public Location: home Mood: sleepy Music: Louie Giglio's talk Tags: laminin, louie giglio

Check it out (you have to wait until the pictures at the end -- the best part).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Date: 2008-05-27 21:54 Subject: "Maybe Attending"? Security: Public Location: home Mood: sore Tags: commitment, facebook

Someone mentioned the other day that it is frustrating that this generation seems afraid of commitment. I agree.

Facebook tells it all...
On how many event pages are so many more people's RSVPs "Maybe Attending" instead of "Attending" (or even "Not Attending")? It's just easier to say maybe to something than it is to commit to either yes or no. It's safer for us that way. We don't like to make decisions...we'd rather wait and see what everyone else does.

But Jesus isn't like that. It's a great problem I see in many Christians' lives, sometimes including my own. We think faith is a switch we can turn on when things get tough and turn off when we want our way. But it can't be. If a relationship with Jesus Christ isn't 24/7, it isn't going to work. People get "converted", but aren't told that the journey is hard. So there's "dropouts" and "backsliders". It needs to be clear that choosing Jesus to be Lord over your life is binding commitment, like a marriage. You have to say yes or no; The Bible says there is no middle ground, no "sitting on the fence".

Jesus came to bring life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). That's his invite. What's your response?

Date: 2008-05-05 18:59 Subject: Lessons from a Greenhouse Security: Public Location: home Music: I Surrender All -- Christian Mogler Tags: fruits, greenhouse, patio gardens, roots, transplanting

I got home from Prairie 9 days ago and was in need of a job for two months, before my mission trip to Kenya. God is good and provided me with a job at Patio Gardens Greenhouse. I began today, and it went well! I transplanted flowers all day. No wonder Jesus spoke in parables. I can picture him walking throughout cities with his disciples, telling stories whenever an opportunity came up. There is so much to learn from plants!

For example, the whole aspect of transplanting. In the beginning, tiny seeds are planted in little plastic beds of soil, and eventually they begin to poke out. But as the roots grow, the plant becomes too big for it's little pot and needs to be transplanted into something bigger. Not to transplant it would harm the plant. This past year of my life has been kind of a season of being transplanted. I "outgrew" (or graduated from) my high school student status. I was put in a bit bigger of a "pot" in Kentucky this summer. While not a huge challenge, I was away from my immediate family, town, and routine. Then six weeks later I was moved yet again to the even bigger area of Prairie. New town, new people, new schedule -- completely new learning curve. But a transplant was needed. To not have been "transplanted" would have stunted my growth. God definitely used this year at Prairie to stretch me and allow me to grow. While I was a bit nervous in September, I wouldn't have traded these past 8 months for anything. Being transplanted is hard; it means being removed from where you're comfortable, where you're safe, where you fit, and being put into something new. But it's for good...it's for you to grow. As long as God's the one doing the transplanting -- changing things in our lives according to his time schedule, it's for the best.

Another lesson regards roots. A plant is only good to be transplanted if it has strong, white roots, otherwise it won't take to the new soil and grow. I read a quote this last month: "Roots determine fruits." We hear a lot about "fruit" in the Christian journey. We're supposed to show the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.). We've read that "a good tree cannot produce bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." Either we're good or bad trees -- bearing fruit for Christ in our words, attitudes, choices, or showing the fruit of evil. But what helps determine fruits? The roots. A good tree, a strong and healthy tree, has good roots. If our roots are connected to anything else other than a relationship with Jesus Christ, we won't last. Money, a job, education, even friendships, what other people think, "realizing our full potential", climbing the ladder of success, blocking out anything but ourselves -- any of these attempts to fill voids in our life, any of these attempts to grow roots in order to establish and maintain who we are, will not last. I think that God transplants us, shakes up our lives sometimes, in order to see if our roots will remain. Only healthy roots will survive a shaking; anything else will dissolve.

This began happening to me this year. One of the themes from my time at Prairie so far has been God "pruning" me -- gently pointing out what in me doesn't need to remain. He's shaken me up and moved me in order to make sure that my roots in him are strong. They are the only thing that lasts, and the measure of the whole plant.

Date: 2008-04-09 18:43 Subject: Prodigal Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: busy Music: And Now My Lifesong Sings -- Casting Crowns Tags: casting crowns, kingdom of god, prodigal, repentance

God has been reminding me over and over that his kingdom is about repentance. We cannot understand or fully appreciate the grace of God until we are well aware of our own sin and inadequacies. I am so thankful that he is a loving Father that accepts me when I say sorry and promises to hold me and help me return to him when I've messed up. It is not enough to ask God once for all to forgive my sins. Yes, Jesus conquered sin, evil, and death once for all on the cross, but I need to keep "short accounts" with God. If there is stuff in my life that I know is not pleasing to him, it affects every area of my life...emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I can become a "Prodigal" many times in a day. But God is there, always accepting me back!

Prodigal (by Casting Crowns)
Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in the sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand

Daddy, here I am again
Will You take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Curse this morning sun
Drags me in to one more day
Of reaping what I've sown
Of living with my shame
Welcome to my world
And the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince
The next day you're a slave

Daddy, here I am again
Will You take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Date: 2008-04-01 22:23 Subject: Paul Washer Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: hopeful Music: general conversation in the kitchen Tags: paul washer, repentance

Prepare to be challenged:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AYsClDclvf0

This man, Paul Washer, expresses my deepest desire. I warn you...his message is blunt. It's nothing really new, but it is Biblical. It seems stunning in a way because it's just not preached very often anymore. Please watch it. Please watch it with an open heart. And if it sparks your interest, convicts you, challenges or encourages you, etc., please take time to watch his full-length sermon (58 minutes) here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=uuabITeO4l8 . It is more than worth it. And please comment. Tell me if I'm just insane, or if God is using this preacher to bring some much-needed changes to each of our lives. I have not been more encouraged, yet challenged, in ages...

If every Christian heard this and allowed it to change them (not just be inspired, but that it would evoke an attitude and lifestyle change) then the Church, especially in North America, would be a lot more effective. Jesus told us not to be surprised if the world hates us. Why would the world hate us for being "Christians" if we're just like them?

Ladies and gentlemen, we are called to be different.

Date: 2008-03-28 18:24 Subject: The Best? Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: tired Music: Down -- Kutless Tags: best, james 1:5, rick warren, wisdom

"We Serve the Best Pizza in Town!" claims a restaurant along the main road. Knowing Three Hills, that place probably serves the only pizza in town!

"The Best" has many different meanings.

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! Who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became his counselor? Or who has first given to him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

Date: 2008-03-22 21:21 Subject: Lent Security: Public Location: at home Mood: okay Music: 40 Days -- Third Day Tags: chip ingram, lent, no substitute, tea

I've never really celebrated Lent before, but decided to this year. A lot of people at college were giving things up for the 40 days, and I figured that it was a safe environment to do so as well and to have people hold me accountable. So I prayed about what to give up, and God made it painfully clear...TEA. Now I enjoy tea a lot, but wasn't actually addicted or anything. It's not even exactly bad for you.

For the first 36 days I still did not understand why God told me to give up tea for Lent. But then the other day he finally told me:
"There is no substitute." I haven't had tea during the whole Lent season, but I had a cup of hot chocolate and a couple milk steamers. They were good in the moment, but I'm still very much craving tea and looking forward to having it tomorrow. So basically, God reminded me that there is no substitute for him. I can try other things but ultimately nothing will satisfy my spiritual cravings except for Jesus. More personally for me, everything will leave me empty except spending time with God. Good conversations, stimulating reading, challenging Biblical assignments...while these things are good, they are no substitute for what my soul really needs: communion with my Creator. God's Word is ALIVE and he still speaks today. He has things to tell me if I'm willing to listen. As Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good..." I have tasted and seen the Lord's goodness (I'll soon be posting on the goodness of God -- thoughts based on a book I'm reading). I've experienced it, and I've experienced his faithfulness, so I trust that he is faithful to continue in his goodness. How else do I "get a taste" of him except by spending time with him? How else does any relationship grow?

God: As He Longs for You to See Him is a book I'm reading, by Chip Ingram. I absolutely love his clear, blunt language, challenging ideas, supporting Scripture and practical suggestions. I have a lot of thoughts on what I've read so far, but wanted to point out this quote:
    God promises you will find him if you seek him. He also promises to give you the Spirit you need in order to known him if you         ask. Are you seeking? Are you asking? Are you knocking? Are you praying, 'God I want to know you'? One of the reasons we         don't know God better is our unwillingness to follow what we already know. He wants us to see him and be transformed. He             wants us to experience his love, his grace, and his holiness far more than we do. But the ball is in our court. We must seek him.

For some reason we've got this notion in our heads that God wants to fill us with intellectual knowledge (maybe it's a Western mindset, a Bible College mindset, or both!) But when we look at the life of Jesus, that was absolutely not his intent. He said that if his disciples saw him, they had seen the Father...he came to reveal God to us -- experientially. Not to just know about God, but to know him personally and intimately through the life that Jesus lived and portrayed. We can never know God exhaustively, but we can know him truly. What he has revealed about himself can be known absolutely. But what challenged me is that God often won't reveal more until what we already know has affected us. It's a lot easier to say "Jesus loves me" or "He is holy" or "God is in control" than it is to seriously allow these beliefs to transform the entire way we think, act, plan, feel, and live our lives.

I think that's what my Lent lesson comes back to. Yes, I knew in my head that God is "more than enough" and is able to satisfy, but I wasn't putting that into practice; I was still trying to substitute other things, maybe even "spiritual" looking things, for Christ and spending time with him.

But there is no substitute.

Date: 2008-03-03 11:20 Subject: Martin Luther, on "Praying in Faith" Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: groggy Music: Chris Tomlin -- Glory in the Highest Tags: belief, faith, prayer

Some reflections from Devotional Classics...

The only thing I didn't agree with was his statement that "we entreat God by his Son, his saints, his promises, his name." Not by his saints! Yes, the blood of Jesus allows us to "approach the throne of grace with confidence" (Hebrews 4:14-16), and his promises provide a foundation for us to know what his will is, and how to pray according to his will. In John 14:14 Jesus says, " You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." And 1 John 5:14, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." I don't believe that God's answers to our prayers are dependent on "his saints".

But I like this: "Prayer is made vigorous by petitioning; urgent by supplication; by thanksgiving, pleasing and acceptable." (A distinction is made between petitions and supplication: "in supplication we strengthen prayer and make it effective by a certain form of persuasion...petitioning is stating what we have at heart, naming the desire...") And he adds, "faith makes the prayer acceptable because it believes that either the prayer will be answered, or that something better will be given instead." Another very practical quote: "We are to lay our need before God in prayer, but not prescribe to God a measure, manner, time or place." That's where trust comes in -- trust that God will do what is right. He goes on to say that we are prone to sin in one of two ways in praying: by lacking faith, or by in essence, telling God what to do by prescribing specific times and measures. Mark 11:24, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

I really like this quote: "God sometimes delays, but he always comes." This encourages me to be persistent in praying for the names on my "unsaved people" list, but I am convicted that I need to pray in faith. There are some pretty hard hearts; do I really believe that "my God is mighty to save"? He changed Paul's heart, and even my own dad's! And he is "the same yesterday, today, and forever."

Now here's the tough balance: how do I pray specifically and vigorously without giving God boundaries? During our Missions Conference God challenged me especially with regard to my prayers of, "Lord bless the missionaries." While that certainly isn't limiting God to a Who, a Where, and a When, I believe there is a better way to pray. I guess it comes back to my last post...knowing God, and knowing his will.

God actually wants to answer our prayers! He enjoys meeting with us. But I think we all get frustrated by prayers that don't seem to get answered, and we may wonder what the use is. Remember, "he sometimes delays, but he always comes." Well I need to remind myself to check a couple things: What am I praying for? God is loving and powerful enough to meet my needs, but are my prayers really asking for His will to be done, or for me to have my way? And am I believing? What if we really lived out the promise that if we believe, God will give us whatever we ask for in prayer? Is the promise fact or fiction? Are all things actually possible with God or not?

Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Date: 2008-02-22 20:08 Subject: Knowing God Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: contemplative Music: Restored -- Jeremy Camp Tags: global connections conference, knowing god

It's been awhile since I've updated! This week at Prairie we just finished our "Global Connections Conference". It was an encouraging week. Although I feel God calling me more to discipleship than evangelism (helping Christians grow stronger rather than bringing people to know Christ for the first time), he challenged me to remain open to the possibility of doing missionary work and introducing people to Jesus who have never heard or him before. One conversation in particular was very encouraging, and a bit of a good perspective change. I was talking to one mission rep lady and she reminded me that to be involved in missionary work you don't necessarily have to GO (overseas, or wherever). As I shared my passions with her she said that it seems God has called me to be a Sender. God has called certain people to go and actually do the work, but he's also called others to send them...people at home to pray, people to give financially, etc. So she encouraged me that if I am sure of my calling, God may use me to help others define their call -- others who may be the ones to go.

But that's not actually what I wanted to share. Something else was on my mind last night, and it got me really excited but is kind of hard to put into words. Bear with me, and ask questions if necessary =)
My dad asked my brother-in-law, Ben, to pray about joining him in a certain (ironically, missions) opportunity. "Well actually I don't usually work that way," Ben responded. "If I get invited, I'll often go. I figure if God opens the door I need to walk through it." At first I was wary, but it got me thinking...
I need to ask God for discernment. What Ben seemed to be talking about actually sounds kind of like a neat place to be. If I was so "in tune" with God that I knew what his will is and where he's leading me, it'd be a lot easier to get excited about opportunities that are from him, and to recognize doors that he's closing. Because intimacy implies knowledge, right? You can't have any serious type of intimate relationship with someone you don't know. In one class of mine we're studying "God's Mission Through the Church." Last class the focus was that one segment of God's mission includes his will to be known for who he is. If I know him, I know his desires, as well as what is not of his will. This isn't to say that there will never be surprises -- seeking God's will isn't a one-time thing. Even Jesus as a human, while 100% God, sought time to pray to his Father. He said he spoke only what the Father revealed to him. But if I know the Father, I suppose it's almost like a filter -- my options are limited. And in a good way. "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial", writes Paul. Because God has my best interests at heart, in knowing Christ better I come to know what is beneficial for me (as well as for others, and for God's kingdom in general). It's more of a lifestyle...obedience, being ready and prepared to go. Like one chapel: often people are planning on staying, but willing to go. "Well I'm just going to serve God here at home, but if he calls me elsewhere I can leave." Instead, we should be "ready to go, but willing to stay." It's easier to steer a moving vehicle, not a parked one. When we're in motion, acting with the right motives in what we believe God's calling us to, he'll move and use us. It's much deeper and broader than, "Oh look, God's working...maybe he'll start being active in my life now; I'll ask him." In knowing God I'm sure we, in a sense, come to know ourselves more, because we're created in his image. We learn to recognize the areas in our lives that bear his image, or perhaps more importantly the areas in which we are misrepresenting his image. And as I learn more about myself and who God's making me to be, when opportunities come along I have an idea of where I fit and where I don't. But it is not merely me making "good decisions" in the natural realm; because I know God I trust him to use me where he wants, even if at first glance I may not seem to "fit".

Some friends and I are doing a Bible Study DVD series from Jodi Greenstreet. One session really impacted me. She said that most Christians agree that our purpose is to glorify God. But what does that mean? To glorify something means to recognize it's worth or value. And to recognize means "to know again". So in order to recognize something, you have to know it. Knowing God allows us to recognize him and where he's at work in our lives and the world, and recognizing him helps us glorify him. It all starts with knowing God.

How well do you know God? Not know about God...but actually know him? Do you know his heart? Do you know what he's passionate about, and what breaks his heart? What his 'likes and dislikes' are? Think about any relationship. What are God's "favorites"? What does he enjoy about you? What's your favorite way to spend time with him? Do you know him well enough that you could recognize him or his work in different situations? When you see a sunset do you take it for granted, or imagine that your daddy made it just for you? (I'm learning that from my friend Christine!) Do you recognize his glory in the trouble as well as the good times? Psalm 139 talks about God knowing us inside and out...how well do we know him?

Date: 2008-02-02 18:55 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: tired

Matthew 16:24-26 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"





























What is the 'cross' you are bearing? Jesus never promised us a trouble-free life. We need to persevere, because God can use our greatest challenges and pain and uncomfort for his ultimate purpose. Are you trying to gain the whole world? What about your soul?

Date: 2008-01-20 19:59 Subject: Will You Trade Your Dreams for His? Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: full Music: Casting Crowns

I had two people in one day ask me what my 'dream' is. And as I began trying to explain to each of them, I realized I didn't really know. I used to have definite passions, a sense of direction, and many fantastical visions of the future.

Where did they all escape to?

So that night I prayed that God would restore my dreams and fill me with his desires. Then God spoke to me, saying he had withheld dreams from me so I could learn to be content in this season. It made sense; it's so easy for me to get consumed in the future that I forget God's will includes right now. Through random ponderings I realized that my fantasies are so small compared to God's dreams for me, and that I can't have both. For instance, a scenario may take place in my mind that consumes me for two minutes. But God's plans for me A) include my entire life, not just one event, and B) are reality, not just fantasies. It's because he sees the whole picture, right? So God is challenging me that if I give up my fantasies he will replace them with his dreams. And then, like Phil. 4:8, I can instead dwell on his will, which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

Date: 2008-01-06 23:06 Subject: Seasons Security: Public Location: home Mood: calm Music: Kathryn Scott--At the Foot of the Cross Tags: season

We've all heard of seasons.

We've all heard the expressions of there being "seasons of life."

We've all probably also heard that God has a plan for us in each season of our life.

But God reminded me of something today: I am not in control of the seasons of my life. Just as I do not determine when the leaves change color, the snow melts, or the rain falls, so also I have no say in when a new season of my life starts. This revelation took a certain weight off my shoulders. It is comforting to know that my job is not to make a season change, but simply to adjust when it does. My job is not to strive on my own to change something, but simply to be faithful in obeying what God asks. For each season I enter, I can rest in God's promise that he is in control. And I must not grow impatient. I know the feeling of wanting winter to end and summer to come...but the wanting does nothing to speed the process. I don't want to rush anything God is doing. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."
 (Ecc. 3:1) 

Date: 2008-01-01 20:05 Subject: Merry Christmas/Happy New Year Security: Public Location: Somerset, KY Mood: tired Music: TV and conversation

The old is gone, the new has come!

Whether we like it or not, a new year is upon us. Reflecting on 2007 is worthwhile. Although not to condemn yourself for resolutions not met, opportunities missed, etc. Last night for New Year's Eve each person in our family shared one thing we praise God for from last year. Mine was being here in Kentucky this summer and beginning college. (I guess that's two things, but they're both about new beginnings.) What can you praise God for?

I'm quite looking forward to 2008. But it is still full of a good share of unknowns. From what I surmise, this year will be either really exciting--full of God revealing his plans, learning new things, seeing changes happen--or it will be slower, kind of just taking a step back, settling down for awhile, gaining a new perspective. I'd prefer the exciting, but hey, whatever God wants is what I want. As long as he's in control I'll be glad!

My break has been good. It's been fun, very relaxing, good to be with family. But it's not the same as being at home. I'm actually quite looking forward to returning to school. What a blessing the first semester was; I know this coming one will be even better!

I hope you have all had a good Christmas. I'll post something "deeper"...eventually!

Date: 2007-12-15 20:20 Subject: Quick Update Security: Public Location: home Mood: cold Music: hockey game on TV

I'm done! My first semester of college is over. It went well; I loved it. 

I am happy for the break though. I'm working 4 days this weekend at my job from last year. My first day was today and it was kind of fun. It was extremely busy, being Christmastime and all, but that was okay--it helped the time pass quickly. Our family is going to Kentucky for Christmas to visit my sister and her family. We're flying out on Wednesday. I'm quite excited to go back to my "home" from this summer. 

This is a pathetic post, but who reads it anyway? =)

I will try to post again before Christmas. If I end up not, have a Merry Christmas!

Date: 2007-12-07 18:16 Subject: Complete Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: excited Music: Surely We Can Change--David Crowder Band

There was once a dear professor at Prairie Bible College, in his last year of teaching; he was about to retire. And this one professor taught two of the same classes. In one of these classes was a girl...me.

I love Mr. Flewelling. A lot of what he says challenges me, and he genuinely cares about our spiritual, physical, and emotional welfare. But the one thing that is frustrating is this: he repeats his stories. Over, and over, and over, and over again. But that's why I gave the background. He's retiring, and he does have two of the same classes, in the same classroom, so it is easy to forget which class you've told a story too. 

But allow me to share one of his stories with you. (I'm sure I'll get it right; I've heard it enough times, lol)
Before he and his wife were married, they lived a long distance from each other for awhile. Glenn was in Japan (the only single male missionary) and his now wife, Marsha, was in the States, I believe. They were forced to communicate via letters. When Marsha found out why Glenn was writing her (i.e. he was interested in her and wanted to marry her), she wrote him back a letter that said this:

Don't even mention a relationship or marriage until you can look me square in the eye and say, "I don't need you."

Mr. Flewelling wrote back and said, Ditto.

So for the next 4 months they each separately did a Bible study on what it means to be complete in Christ. He constantly reminds our class of this: a marriage works like this: 1 whole person + 1 whole person = 1 whole person. It's not half of me and half of you; the Bible says that 2 become 1.

This applies to friendship too. Why do we have friends? What's our motivation for becoming someone's friend? Why are we so easily hurt by our friends? I think this is a great lesson: we don't need each other. And we shouldn't try to make or maintain a relationship until we know that we know that we are complete in Christ. We cannot seek to gain from others what only Christ can give. Our identity should be in him. It has to be in him. Our acceptance comes from him. He is the only one who can love us unconditionally.

Do you know what it means to be complete in Christ? To study it in the Bible is an amazing thing. When God looks at us he sees us through the "lens" of Christ. We have the RIGHTEOUSNESS of Christ. God chooses not to look at our sin. Amazing, eh? What grace!

I want to challenge you to learn who you are in Christ. In fact if you're interested, I have a sheet full of Bible verses that point out numerous aspects of that; maybe I should just post that on here. As long as you're thinking of yourself as a "half" that someone else has to complete (spouse, friend, or other), you will be easily hurt and broken and offended. It won't work. But Christ made you who you are. He's still working on us. One day we will be perfect: we will be fully who he has intended us to be. Friends are a blessing. But they cannot fulfill our need for Jesus.

Who are you?

Date: 2007-11-30 21:42 Subject: A Step Back Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: uncomfortable Music: Deathbed--Relient K

I haven't posted in a while because I couldn't choose what to post on. There's been a lot going on lately...

The biggest thing I suppose is surrender, trust, dreams...(the biggest things)

You'd think at college a person would be "living in the moment". I'm trying to. Because I feel pretty strongly that I know what God's called me to, part of me just wants to get out and do it. But I know that I am only almost 1/8 done only part of my training for that ministry. And I am thoroughly loving it, but there is a level of impatience in me.

Maybe these lessons I'm in the midst of learning should be said in a different order:

1) Trust: do I trust God? As I've mentioned lots already, do I really believe that he's good? Do I really have faith in him that not only is he able to make something of my life--something more than I could ever imagine--but that he wants to?

2) Surrender: my "slogan" or prayer has become, "God, take _____, because it's better your's than mine." Whatever the issue is, whatever I'm having trouble sacrificing, whatever my question is, I wonder, in the end, what's the point of me fighting for it? I read this morning in Proverbs: "Many are the plans in a man's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." At the very end, God's gonna win anyways, so why not give him control now? It's easy in the big things, or easier, at least for me. Okay, I can trust God's plan and purpose for my life. But if he asks me to change my attitude? If he asks me to love a person who's hurt me? If he asks me to step out of my comfort zone? If he asks me to be faithful in praying to him? "But...but...but..." Again though, ultimately whatever the situation is, it will turn out better in God's hands than in my own.

3) Dreams: Once I trust God, and surrender to his will, my dreams become his. Like the Casting Crowns lyrics I posted back a few weeks: "Will you trade your dreams for his, or are you caught in the middle?"

Here at Prairie, I'm realizing that God's dreams involve the little things. In this atmosphere of not necessarily a mundane, but quite a repetitive schedule, it's not as if God will give me a great big revelation about his plans for me. He already has; that's why I'm here. But when I pray at the beginning of the day, "Lord I want to do your will. I want to obey", I have to expect him to tell me what his will IS! I've realized that I often talk the "spiritual" talk without anticipating any actual action. God has challenged me: "I have a will for you today, Kristyn." I've gotten a few moments of truth where I'm like, "Oh yeah! Okay..."

Trust...surrender...dreams. Lessons that God's been trying to teach me all my life. Lessons that he'll continue teaching me until the day I die. Lessons that are hard to learn. Lessons that hurt in the process but are a blessing in the end. Lessons that remind me that God is God and I'm not. Lessons that humble me. Lessons I know others are going through, which serves as a bit of an encouragement. (And you know what else? Just because I shared part of this at Monday Night Worship, have talked with different people throughout the week about it, and am doing an LJ post on it, God's challenging me to surrender new things. Too bad I have to practice what I preach!)

It's a good lesson. I've changed alot since I was little. Apparently I was quite the stubborn kid; I believe it! I'm still strong-willed, but I am encouraged by the changes I have seen God make in me. And now, after 18 years of life, I know there's much more yet to be learned...

Date: 2007-11-14 19:45 Subject: Free Rice Security: Public Location: my dorm room Mood: accomplished Music: Remedy--David Crowder

Hey guys, I'll post something insightful when I get around to it, but for now, check this out:

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

It's fun, it's addicting, and by playing the game you help feed starving people! You can't go wrong. Challenge yourself. Do it.